


Carry On, Until You Find The Peace You Deserve

by Chipper99



Series: Destiel One Shots [11]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: (or on the Impala to be specific), 15x20, Angel Wings, Background Bobby Singer, Background Sam Winchester/Eileen, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Coda, Conversations in the Impala (Supernatural), Dean's Heaven, Eileen(Mentioned), Episode Fix-it, First Kiss, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Happy Ending, Headcanon, Heaven, Idiots in Love, Jack Kline(Mentioned) - Freeform, Love Confessions, M/M, Season 15 Episode 20, Season Finale, Spoilers, The Extra Scene We Needed, The Impala (Supernatural), Wings, no we DESERVED
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:20:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27730669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chipper99/pseuds/Chipper99
Summary: “You gonna stay invisible back there the whole time Cas, or you gonna show yourself?”Dean sees a flash of a tan trench-coat reflected in the rear-view mirror, blinking into existence with a rustle of wings that he’s not heard of in quite some time.“Hello, Dean.”Dean lets himself smile again.- - -That finale killed me, so here we are I guess, four fics in the span of a month. Why do you do this to me, Supernatural. Why do you hate us all, CW.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Destiel One Shots [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1514507
Comments: 10
Kudos: 251





	Carry On, Until You Find The Peace You Deserve

**Author's Note:**

> So... I started this fic a few days after the finale aired (I need to gather myself together emotionally before attempting to write, because that finale rendered me of any common sense - just like the finale itself). 
> 
> Since then, there's been... conspiracies. Conspiracies of cast members throwing shade by remaining mostly silent, Samantha Ferris throwing the show under the bus by revealing they were never even approached about returning for the finale...
> 
> And now? The Spanish Dub. Misha's reaction video and then the tweets following, it's all... well, it's a giant mess and I think we're all feeling a little hurt right now. So, I tried to shove as much fluff and happiness into this fic without it seeming too overboard, coz I think we all need somewhat of a happy ending for our beloved characters (As canon compliant as I can make it anyway. Listen, I could only work with what was given to me with the finale lol. I tried, okay?)

“Well...Cas helped.”

Three words. Three words, and all of a sudden the weight on Dean’s shoulders felt a hell of a lot lighter.

Which is ironic, since he’s dead. He shouldn’t have to carry that weight anymore.

But it’s _because_ he’s dead that the weight was there.

 _Sacrifice._ Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice, over and over again. It seemed like you weren’t a _true_ Winchester until you had sacrificed yourself. Maybe for the fate of the universe, maybe for someone you loved. And more often than not, sacrificing yourself for one of those would end up putting the _other_ in peril. How many times had they sacrificed themselves for the world, only to put one of them in danger? And, similarly, how many times had they sacrificed themselves for someone they loved, only to screw up the world? It was like a roundabout circus they could never escape from.

Well. Until now, anyway.

So long as Sammy didn’t do anything stupid, that is.

And Cas... he had sacrificed himself for _him._ For someone he loves. And there’s no skirting around that now. Cas had said it outright. No more implications, no more hidden meanings... Cas loved him.

Even now, he can’t quite wrap his head around it. He hadn’t realized, because... well, because he didn’t think it was _possible._ Castiel was an angel. Sure, he was _very_ different from the other angels, and over the years his time down on Earth along with Sam's and his influence had made him... well, more _human._ But he wasn’t _human_. He was an _angel._

And angels aren’t supposed to feel. They aren’t supposed to have emotions. They weren’t supposed to _love._ And yet, Cas did. Cas had fallen in love. And not just with anyone, no-no, with _him._

And yeah, he always knew Cas loved him, but he didn’t think he _loved_ him. Okay, maybe that doesn’t make much sense, but it does to him.

And then, he had to live with that. To know Cas had died because of... no, that’s not right, _for_ him Cas had let himself be taken, just so he could have a chance of getting out of there alive. A chance to take on Chuck. A chance to live.

And he was gonna try. No matter how much Cas's loss left a hole in his life. He was gonna carry on. He was gonna pull himself out of bed, he was gonna greet Miracle every morning with the cuddles she deserves (along with leftover scraps that Sam didn't approve of but couldn’t seem to find within himself to scold Dean for), he was gonna get himself a job, a _real,_ boring civilian job, and he was gonna _live_.

That had been the plan, anyway. Hell, he had even somehow managed to _get_ himself one of those jobs. Had signed his name on the dotted line and everything. He had been dreading telling Sam. He was sure he’d understand, but he just didn’t know the right way to tell him. Guess he doesn’t have to worry about that anymore.

_‘But if we don’t keep livin’, then all that... sacrifice; it’ll be for nothing.’_

And that’s why that weight had been there. Because he wanted Cas's sacrifice to _mean_ something. To live, not just because Cas died for him to have the opportunity to, but because he _wanted_ to. Because after all these years, of his whole life being written by the creator... they could finally live out their own story.

But he couldn’t stop himself. Another hunt, just like any other. Hell, he had gone into it thinking it might be his last hunt; if he finally gathered enough courage, grew a pair, and told Sam about the offer he had accepted.

Course, it _had_ been his last hunt. Free from Chuck, free to start their own story... and it had ended just as quick as it had begun. Sammy was free for _his_ story to continue, but _theirs_ was over, and it came in the form of a rusted nail in his back.

Cas had died for _him_. Cas was trapped in that God awful place, for _him, a_ nd how does he repay Cas for that sacrifice? He goes and gets himself killed not two weeks later.

But now? Now, he doesn’t have to think about that. He doesn’t have to torture himself with the image of Cas stuck in eternal darkness, living out his regrets while he stays cozy in heaven with his family and a beer in hand. Coz Cas was out. Cas was in heaven, _here, somewhere_.

He can see him again.

Bobby raises his brows at him, a brief knowing look before he turns away to chug down a gulp of completely average beer.

Dean lets himself smile.

“So, I guess the question is: what are you gonna do now, Dean?”

A perfectly placed stream of sunlight glints off the Impala’s sleek black metal top; not a scratch on her. He knows it's not _really_ the Impala – the old license plate is proof of that. But it’s still his baby. Besides, he’s sure Sammy’s taking good care of the _real_ girl down there. And he trusts that Sammy will pass her on to the right person when the times right.

That’s unless he wants to leave her to rust by herself in some random garage and risk Dean forcing himself out of heaven as a vengeful spirit to rip his little brother a new one.

Baby purrs just like she used to when Dean switches on the ignition. That deep rumble that emits from the engine, shakes her chassis and even now brings a smile to his face. That smile only grows when, out of curiously, he switches on the heat. He doesn’t need it of course - it’s a comfortably warm day - but the sound of the Legos rattling away in her vents is all he needed to hear. And when he cranes his neck around into the back seats, spotting the off-green army men figures crammed into the ashtray, he knows he’s going to have to wrap Jack up in a big old bear hug if ever shows his face around here.

Heaven wasn’t heaven because it was _perfect._ Neither was the Impala - her blemishes were what made her perfect in _his_ eyes. His first beer with his dad wasn’t perfect because it was a masterpiece of brewing. Quite frankly it tasted like piss, but it was perfect because it was the first time he felt like his dad saw him as equal. As a man. A moment between father and son.

Those blemishes made heaven feel... real. More human. More like... the life you always wanted to live.

Maybe that’s why Jack had done it. Because Jack had experienced what it’s like to be one of them, to exist alongside humanity. He has rebuilt Heaven the way he thought humans _deserved_ to have it.

And he made sure Cas was there to help, too.

Dean finally shuts off her ignition after pulling into a field off the side of the road. He pulls Baby into a small dirt side road that overlooked the growing crops, just taking a moment to watch the long green strands blowing peacefully in the gentle wind. The sun was still high in the sky, glinting off every shiny blade of grass nestled within the crops. The sky was that deep kind of blue where you could almost mistake it for the ocean. He wonders if Cas's eyes were Chuck's inspiration for the sky when he crafted it into existence.

“You gonna stay invisible back there the whole time Cas, or you gonna show yourself?”

Dean sees a flash of a tan trench-coat reflected in the rear-view mirror, blinking into existence with a rustle of wings that he’s not heard of in quite some time.

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean lets himself smile again.

Dean doesn’t say anything at first. He swings the driver’s door open, stepping out and closing it gently behind him. When he gets to Baby’s trunk, the sight - or lack thereof - of no weapons is jarring. Instead, there's a cooler staring back at him. Perfect. He pulls two beers out from the cooler, holding both by the neck between his fingers as he closes the trunk with his free hand. He can still make out Cas's form sat in the back seat of the Impala as he walks back around her, hopping up on her hood and settling down.

The caps twist off easily, and they blink out of existence a few seconds after he chucks them down into the dirt. No littering in heaven, he supposed. He keeps one in his hand, the other he leaves resting next to him on the hood, a few beads of condensation slipping down the glass as the sun beats down on it. Dean takes a swig of his own beer, satisfied in the knowledge that drunk driving isn’t a thing he has to even consider anymore.

It only takes a few more seconds before he hears the squeak of one of Baby’s door being opened. Only a few more after that until the hood dips down with an additional weight, the comforting presence of someone next to him. Dean keeps his gaze to the view in front of him as he picks the bottle next to him up, holding it out to the side. He feels the bottle slide out of his hands.

He takes another sip.

“How did you know I was there?” Cas is the first to break the silence. He’s not looking at Dean either just yet. Like Dean, his eyes are fixed on the field.

“I didn’t,” Dean’s honest with him. “Took a shot.”

Cas huffs out a laugh. It brings another smile to Dean’s face. They seemed to come easy here.

“What would you have done if I wasn’t there?” Cas asks, amusement clear in his voice.

Dean chuckles around the lip of the beer bottle. “Looked like an idiot talking to myself in Baby, I guess.”

Dean risks a glance over to Cas. He looks...well, like Cas. There’s a certain sense of peace to him now, though. He doesn’t _look_ like he had been suffering in the Empty until Jack got him out. In fact, there’s a gentle smile on his face as he peers out into heaven.

“So, uh... I hear Jack fished you out of... y'know...”

“He did,” Cas confirms in a rumble. “The Empty wasn’t all too fond of letting me go, at first. But Jack argued that the work we could do together would help make things a lot quieter around... well, _everywhere._ The Empty likes the quiet.”

Dean nodded slowly; his head held low. “Cas, listen man... I hope you know I agonized over finding a way to get you out. I did. But all I could think about was how it would be another risk, y'know? Another entity to piss off, and... Christ, after... after what you did? Knowing you died for me? I didn’t wanna throw my life away and just... spit in the face of your sacrifice.”

Cas turns to him now, a frown etched across his features. “I never expected you to, Dean. I never _wanted_ you to. I was the one who summoned the Empty, after all. I had accepted what had to be done. I was ready.”

“Yeah, well… doesn’t mean you deserved to go out that way, Cas,” Dean said miserably. “You deserved better than that.”

“And I got better,” Castiel assured him. “I… I wanted to return to you, first. But Jack needed my help, and when he told me his plan… I knew I would be of better use up here. Turning Heaven into a place you deserved to rest for eternity. The least of what you and your brother deserve.”

“You should be proud of yourself, Cas,” Dean tells him, the statement seemingly having taken Cas aback. “ _I’m_ proud of you. After everything you did, all that you’ve suffered… the second Jack yanks you out of that Hell, you come straight up here and get to work. For me, for Sam, for humanity… _you_ deserve more, Cas. Hell, you deserve a damn break…”

Cas smiles softly down at the drink in his hand. “I’m not too sure what a break would even entail for me…”

“There a beach hidden somewhere in this place?” Dean asks, half-joking and half being dead serious. “Maybe we can finally go on that beach vacation, eh? Me, you and Sammy, swim trunks, sea, sun, and sand… or speedos – I don’t judge. Maybe we can even convince the kid to come down for it when Sammy gets up here?”

Cas’s smile grows even softer- if that’s even possible. “I think Jack might be busy for a while,” Castiel confesses. “But he’ll still be there, in a way-,”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Dean cuts Castiel off with a roll of his eyes. “Coz he’s _everywhere_ , right?”

“Well, he _is.”_

Dean grunts. “Yeah? Does that mean he was in the huge-ass nail that went through my back?”

The smile on Cas’s face waivers, eventually dropping from his face completely as the seconds tick by in silence. “That wasn’t the end I envisioned for you, Dean. You… you deserved to live the life you worked hard to secure.”

“Wasn’t the end I envisioned either, Cas. But it’s a risk me and Sammy took with every hunt we went on. I thought it’d be more… dramatic, you know? Maybe a little quicker. Shot to the head, knife to the throat, something like that… Man, I gotta tell ya’, dying slow? It sucks. Sure, gives you time to say what you want to say, but…” Dean’s voice catches, dropping his head down to his lap, picking absentmindedly at the corner of the golden label wrapped around his bottle. “I was scared, Cas. Couldn’t help it. I could _feel_ it, feel it impaled in my heart, and… there’s something terrifying about knowing it’s comin’, but you can’t do anything about it. I just… I didn’t want to die alone, y’know? Sammy at least saved me from that…”

“Jack had to use his powers to restrain me.”

Dean’s head shoots up, whipping around to face Cas. He looked as tortured as his voice sounded. “Were you aware you were praying to me, Dean? Even… even though you thought I was dead, in that moment you were dying, you prayed to me… I could feel your panic. Your fear. Hear you calling out to me, your last desperate attempt… and I was going to go to you, without a second thought. I couldn’t _stand_ to feel your pain like that, Dean.”

“I, uh… yeah, I know I prayed to you…” Dean found he couldn’t stand Cas’s gaze boring into him anymore, letting his gaze drop down to the ground. “Jack really stopped you?”

“He didn’t want to. He didn’t want this any more than me. But we both agreed that life should return back to the natural order of things. No more second chances, no more crossroad deals… The reapers are already having a tough time trying to readjust to all the changes that have happened recently, especially with how many The Empty disposed of when she was trying to get Billie’s attention… This way, Jack hopes that the Earth will become… more peaceful. Thankfully, Rowena has agreed to the terms in Hell. Crossroad deals are no more. The only souls headed to Hell are those that have been rightfully damned. And those that have lived a good life… they come up here.

“It made sense, at the time. I thought… well, I assumed we would have some time to rebuild Heaven more thoroughly, get everything done we wanted to achieve before you and your brother made your way up here. I had hoped for a good few decades at least… Then two Earth weeks later… I feel you dying.”

“Sorry for ruining your plans,” Dean delivers the line as deadpan as he possibly can. It gets a weird mix of a sigh and dry chuckle from Cas, so he guesses it’s _mostly_ mission accomplished. “Seriously though, man? All this? This is a hell of an accomplishment in the time you and Jack had.”

“Thank you,” Cas said sincerely. “I’m just… I know it’s going to be hard for you, Dean. Waiting for Sam. Jack and I, we had… we had hoped you’d go together, peacefully, in your sleep.”

“I’ll be okay. Like Bobby said, he’ll be along eventually, right? I don’t want him up here _too_ quick, y’know? He deserves that long, happy, human life. White picket fence and all that crap. But… shit, I know I ask too much of you already Cas, but… do you think you could just… check up on him every now and then? Make sure he’s doin’ alright… let him know I’m alright. If that ain't breaking Jack’s rules, of course…”

The corner of Cas’s lips twitched up just the slightest. “I think the rules can be… bent, for such an occasion.”

“Still the rebellious angel at heart, huh Cas?” Dean asked him with a grin.

“I have you to blame for that.”

“ _Thank._ The word you’re looking for there is _‘Thank’,_ Cas. You have me to _thank_ for that.”

“That I do, Dean Winchester. That I do.”

The silence they found themselves in was comfortable. Familiar. The beer in Dean’s hand was getting warmer, and while he knew he could cool it down again simply with a thought, he finds he rather prefers it this way.

“I can check on him now if you want,” Castiel offers after a few minutes had passed.

“What, like, _now?_ You’re just gonna fly down there?”

Cas shook his head. “I don’t need to. I can see him, from here, if I were to properly _look.”_

Something in Dean’s gut twisted uncomfortably. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know of Sam’s state, knowing full well how much his brother would be grieving after his death.

“It’s a little soon, don’t you think? I… I don’t know if I could face seeing Sammy like that…”

“I think a part of Sam will always be grieving you, Dean. Whilst it true that time heals all wounds, those scars will still remain. But I think after these few years since, he’ll already be in a better place.”

“Whoa, wait, a few _years?”_ Dean sputtered, nearly choking on the mouthful of beer in his mouth (even though he’s about ninety-nine percent sure he can’t choke in Heaven). “I haven’t been up here _that_ long.”

“Time moves differently here, Dean. What feels like a few hours here translates to years passing back down on Earth.”

“Oh…” Dean is just about able to get out. He supposed the silver lining in that was that it really _wouldn’t_ be long until he got to see Sammy again. “Uh, then, yeah. Sure, Cas - if you don’t mind doing that for me.”

“It’s the least I can do,” Castiel tells him moments before a wave of blankness washes across his face, eyes going dead in that ‘looking but not seeing’ way. Well, Dean knew he was looking in more ways than just _looking._

When Cas seems to snap back into his own body, Dean is surprised to see the sheen of tears that appeared in his eyes and the quick, shocked little gasp he let out. Fear twisted inside Dean like a knife in his gut, waiting in tense anticipation for Cas to say something.

“Cas? Cas, what – Is Sammy okay?”

“He’s okay,” Cas is quick to assure him, and Dean feels the tension practically melt away from his body. “He’s more than okay, in fact.”

“Oh yeah? Kid finally scrap enough of his brains together and get his law degree?”

“I just watched Sam and Eileen welcome their son into the world.”

Dean’s heart freezes in his chest at the words. Tears spring into his eyes faster than he ever thought possible, the watery smile Cas was giving him only forcing the tears out faster.

“You serious? He – I’m an uncle?”

“You are,” Castiel’s confirmation make’s the realization sink in just a little more. “And as he cradled his son in his arms, I heard the name ‘Dean’ slip from his lips. Eileen was more than happy with the name.”

“Wow… what a cheesy dumbass,” Dean resolutely ignores the tear that escapes and slips down his face. “He’s gonna be a great Dad.”

“He will be.” Castiel agreed. “And I’m sure Sam will have many stories of Dean Jr. to share once he joins you here.”

“I’d say I can’t wait, but… you know what? I can. I _can_ wait.” Castiel shoots him an inquisitive look. Dean grins brightly at him, bumping his shoulder into Cas’s. “I got my angel to keep me company. Sure, heaven ain't complete until I got Sammy, but Heaven wouldn’t be _Heaven_ without you by my side, Cas.”

Castiel looks genuinely shocked by this statement, and it makes Dean’s heartache just a little. Damn… he really didn’t know, did he? But… but that didn’t make much sense… If he had heard the prayer, then…

“Cas… how much of my prayer did you hear?”

“I…” Cas paused, looking almost pained as he concentrated. “I… I suppose towards the end when Jack was restraining me, and when I… well, I suppose it’s possible I could no longer hear you through my… screams…”

“Your _screams?_ ” Dean blanched. “Was Jack _hurting_ you?”

“No,” Cas spoke quietly, shaking his head. “It wasn’t a physical pain, Dean…”

The realization makes Dean pale. “Oh… Jesus, Cas… I’m sorry for making you go through that… I know from experience it ain't fun watching someone you love die.”

Castiel freezes immediately. Dean isn’t even looking at Cas straight on, yet he can still sense Cas’s frame tensing up out of the corner of his eye. If he were more of an asshole, he’d probably laugh. Except, the conversation they’re about to have probably won’t be funny.

Probably…

“This would be a hell of a lot easier if you _had_ heard my prayer… but then again, the point of it was that I regretted not being able to tell you in person.”

“I… I don’t understand?” Castiel is watching him warily, tiptoeing around him like prey that was about to spook. Dean understood why. He knows it’s easier to never put your hopes up, coz then that way it doesn’t hurt quite as much when they’re dashed quite so cruelly.

“When I was hanging on that nail… saying my goodbyes to Sammy, I was… I was fading damn quick, Cas. I suppose having a piece of metal shoved through your spine messes you up pretty bad, so… For a moment, I forgot… I forgot you were gone. I was looking around for you, man. I was trying to find you, coz… I never got to say goodbye. You got your goodbye, you know? You said a hell of a lot more than just goodbye, and… you deserved to hear so much more from me, more than just a _goodbye_ , and I couldn’t even give you _that.”_

“Dean, it’s okay-,”

“No, Cas, it’s not,” Dean said firmly. “I couldn’t even _think,_ let alone speak. It all felt… out of nowhere, y’know? I thought that _that_ would be it, Billie would take both of us and that was our end, together. And then you… you were saying all this stuff about me, this… well, they were things I refused to believe about myself, until you made them some of your last words and then… it felt disrespectful to disagree after that…”

Cas ducks his head down with a breathy chuckle that surprises them both. Okay, maybe this conversation would be _kinda_ funny.

“I wasn’t sure if you would take them to heart after,” Cas tells him. “I knew all I could do was… make sure you knew the way _I saw_ you. Of the good man you truly are.”

“Even in your last moments… you were looking out for me,” Dean smiles weakly at Cas. “Guess mom was right, huh? I did have an angel watching over me.”

“Chuck had written our destinies. You were the righteous man, intended to bring about paradise on Earth under Michael’s command… And I was the angel intended to rescue you from Hell. To make sure you were ready for your fate.”

“And then I introduced you to free will and all Hell broke loose, huh?”

Cas hides his smile behind the bottle he brings to his lips. “Well, Chuck never intended for me to fall in love with you, that’s for sure. It was the only thing I truly knew was real…”

Dean bobs his head up and down as Cas’s words wash over him. He pauses, brows furrowing as he thinks back…

And then it hits him.

“ _We are…”_ Dean mumbles quietly under his breath. Cas glances over to him, cocking his head as he waits for Dean to elaborate.

“We’re… what?”

“We are… That’s what you said, wasn’t it? I asked what about our lives was real, and you said, ‘we are.’ Oh my God, you meant-,” Dean groans sharply, just barely resisting the urge to throw his head back against the windshield.

And then he laughs.

It wasn’t just a short, quick chuckle either. No, we’re talking full-on _maniac_ laughing here. It starts off small and innocent enough, and then before he knows it he’s hunched over himself, an arm slung around his stomach and wheezing so hard he might just pass out from lack of oxygen. Cas at least had the decency to look concerned for his mental wellbeing for the first few seconds, shooting Dean a rather alarmed look as his laughter got louder and louder. Said laughter proved to be contagious however, and even through his mass confusion, Castiel found himself breaking out into deep rumbles of laughter, a peaceful warm lighted in his chest at the sound of Dean’s carefree laughter.

“ _How many signs did I miss?”_ Dean chokes out through his laughter. “How many _years_ , Cas? How many ways did you find a way to tell me, to show me… and it wasn’t until you looked me dead in the eyes and said the words that I realized! Are we idiots? Are we both just dumbasses?”

This sets Cas off into a few more fits of laugher alongside him, beers long abandoned to avoid a classic spit take, resting haphazardly atop Baby’s hood between then. 

“I thought the direct approach would be better this time. You know, with me dying and all.”

That’s not at all funny, but Dean doesn’t feel too bad about his ugly snorts when Cas was laughing about his own death, too.

“Christ, Cas… I love you so damn much, it’s not even funny.”

And apparently it _wasn’t_ funny, because Cas stopped laughing pretty damn quick once he said that. His gaze was _fixated on_ Dean’s still smiling face, eyes as wide as dinner plates as they scanned meticulously across Dean’s face, looking for _any_ sign he was joking.

“You do?”

“Course I do, Cas. Only someone as stupid as me could fall in love with the _one_ best friend in my life, and then be so terrified of messing up our friendship that I just… pretended those feelings weren’t there. Turn that _love_ into a family type of love, coz… that was the kind of love I knew how to handle. But how could I _not_ fall for you, Cas? I mean… it’s _you._ ”

“You love… me? _Me?”_

“Yeah, Cas. You. I love you. I love the way you’re always trying to do the right thing. I love how you were willing to turn your back on your family, to help a couple of idiot brothers save humanity. I love how you became a part of _our_ family. How much you loved the kid, and how you helped me to love him, too. I love how _selfless_ you are, how much you give yourself to us, to _me,_ even when you’ve gone through hell. I love how no matter what I did, you always came back home to me, even when I sure as hell didn’t deserve it. I love how you sneak glances at me when you think I’m not looking… or when you stare unabashedly into my eyes for _much_ longer than is socially acceptable… I love you, you dorky, socially awkward, trench-coat clad angel. Because you’re _you.”_

Castiel stares blankly at him.

“You love me?”

Now it was Dean’s turn to be worried for Cas’s mental state. “Uh, you need a minute there, Cas? Listen, man - I get it. It takes some time to process something like this. Except, in my case, I kinda had to deal with the fact that you were _dead_ on top of that, too. Well, I suppose _I’m_ dead now too technically, but it’s not like I’m going to die _again_ up here, so-,”

Castiel throws himself at Dean so fast that it sends the bottles of beer between them _flying_ off the hood. Dean’s gasp of surprise is muffled by Cas’s mouth on his, brain short-circuiting as he very suddenly has a lap full of angel. Dean’s eyes flutter shut as he gives in to the addicting feel of Cas’s lips, sliding his fingers through Cas’s short strands of dark hair and giving it small sharp tugs that have Cas gasping into his mouth.

“ _Why-,”_ Cas pants into the space between them. “Did you wait until _after_ you were dead to tell me this?”

Dean chuckles warmly, leaning forward and resting his forehead against Cas’s. “Technically I told you _as_ I was dying. Same as you, so… kind of a hypocrite there, Cas.”

Cas huffs so hard that Dean can feel the exhaled puff of air wash across his face. Dean leans his head backward, another joke on the tip of his tongue when he freezes, mouth dropping open at the sight in front of him.

_Wings. Huge, incredible, full wings._

“Cas… your _wings,”_ Dean exclaims in disbelief, barely able to hold back from reaching out and giving the feathers a stroke.

They were… well, Dean doesn’t want to sound like a girl here, but ‘ _beautiful’_ was the only word that came to mind. Sure, he’d seen the shadows of his wings back when they had first met, but it paled in comparison to _truly_ seeing them. The feathers were a deep, ebony black, so dark it seemed like no light was being absorbed by them; the only exception being the sheen of bright colors reflecting off each individual feather, coming together to form a rainbow of colors that shone brightly as Heaven’s sunlight glinted off of them. It reminded Dean of… an oil spill. Those beautiful colors only revealed when exposed to the light of the sun.

“Hmm? Oh-,” Castiel glances back at the two massive appendages sprouting from his back, looking annoyed of all things at the sight of them. “Apologies, I only usually switch them over to this plane of existence when exerting my power… I think that, um… our _interaction_ may have coaxed them out.”

“You saying this is the equivalent of an angel boner, Cas?” Dean jokes, getting an unimpressed look from Cas in response. “How’d you get them back? I thought you’d lost your wings?”

“Damaged, not lost.” Cas corrected him. “They were… they were in tatters after the fall. As were all the other angels cast down during the fall… It was the one gift Jack was able to bestow upon me once we had returned to heaven.”

“Aren’t my eyes supposed to be burning out of my sockets right now?” Dean asked cautiously, almost waiting for that exact thing to happen.

“No. Not now you’re in Heaven.”

“That’s good, coz… Holy _crap,_ Cas – they’re gorgeous.” Dean asserted, torn between taking in every detail of Cas’s wings he can, or drinking in the bright red flush that spread across Cas’s face.

Cas shuffled back over to his side of the hood, and Dean found he immediately missed the warmth of Cas wrapped around him. “I’ve never been complimented on my wings before…”

“ _Never?”_ Dean found that hard to believe.

“Black wings are seen as an… omen. Most angels steered clear of me in Heaven, those under my command had to give me respect because of my position, but… they never truly _respected_ me. It was mere formality than anything… And the, um… the _sheen_ was found to be very distracting to others during flight.”

“Listen Cas, I know they’re your family and all, but they’re dumbasses. It’s their loss. Plain ol’ white fluffy wings are boring anyway. _These?_ These are _sleek,_ gorgeous… Just like Baby’s color,” Dean threw a wink in Cas’s direction, giving Baby a pat underneath them. “Black’s a good color on you, Cas. Don’t let them asshats tell you otherwise.”

“Thank you…” Castiel mumbled quietly, finding it quite hard to meet Dean’s gaze. “I never really took much notice of the other angel’s opinions, anyway… Yours is the only one I care about.”

“Don’t speak too soon, Cas. I’m gonna be gushing over your wings for eternity, so you might get sick of me pretty quick.”

Cas smiled tenderly. “Not possible.”

“You better be prepared for Sammy to nerd out over your wings, though. He’s gonna be asking you _all_ about how they work.” Dean warmed him.

“I imagine Sam will have a _lot_ of questions once he’s here.”

“Yeah, well – don’t be afraid to kick the kid out of our house when he gets a little _too…_ y’know, _Sam._ We’ll let him mope with Eileen for a bit at the roadhouse until he remembers boundaries again.”

Cas went quiet for a bit, thinking over what he had just heard. “… _Our_ house?”

Dean frowned at him, but there was an amused smile on his face, too. “Yeah, _our_ house. You think I’m gonna mope around that place all by myself?”

“I… I assumed with Sam just down the road-,”

“Yeah, exactly, Sammy’s down the road. You can bet your ass I’m gonna be annoying the kid every day with unnecessary visits, but I still need my angel by my side.”

“Dean, I… I still have work to do, _responsibilities_ to Heaven…”

“I get that, Cas. I do.” Dean assured him gently. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t come home at the end of every day, huh? Just like normal people do. Maybe take the weekends off, lazy Sundays with pancakes in bed?”

“…Heaven doesn’t have weekends. Or weekdays. Or days, really.”

“I’m trying to be cute here, Cas.”

“Oh…” Cas mumbled. “It’s… working?”

“C’mon, big picture here, Cas. We’ll do all the normal people stuff we missed out on. Maybe… God, it’s so cheesy, but uh… Date night, y’know? Watch some old movies together while we share a bowl of popcorn, I can whip up some of my world-famous burgers… maybe bake a pie?”

Cas’s smile grew warmer and warmer the more Dean spoke, ducking his head as Dean’s tone became more and more hopeful. “That… sounds nice.”

“And then… who knows where we go from there. But it’ll be _our_ decision. _Our_ story. And, y’know, maybe one day… maybe one day we’ll go door to door, Mom, and Dad, Bobby and Rufus, Ellen and Jo, and Ash, and Pamela, Charlie, and Kevin… and everyone else once they get here; Sammy and Eileen, Jody, Donna, Claire, Alex and Kaia, and then…”

“And then what?” Castiel inquires.

“And then they’ll see us finally get our shit together,” Dean answered with a grin. “And we’ll wave to them every morning with golden bands on our fingers.”

“…and you’re sure you want that with _me_?”

“When I said I need you? It’s because I need _you._ When I told you I loved you? It’s because I love _you._ So yeah, Cas. I wanna spend eternity with you.”

Castiel’s answering smile was as bright as the sun above them. “I’d like that, Dean Winchester.”

“Then I look forward to eternity with you, Castiel Winchester,” Dean places his hand over Cas’s, intertwining their fingers and giving it a tender squeeze. “Now come on - Sammy’s gonna be pissed if I’m not there for his welcoming party.”


End file.
